todays feelings

Wow!! today is just so crazy already like first of all mom dont act like she wants to be around me or shannon anymore and thats making me want to be out the house even more. Im sick of stressing and bitting my touge for other people feelings, like im not happy in this house at all anymore it sucks to be around people that stays on the phone all the time that you cant even get one word out to them, or people stressed all the time so you got to be carful about wat you say to people now. Theres just no happiness anymore and im trying really hard to stay and to be positive its just really hard to do when you not surounded by positive people! UGH!!!! im so feed up with it all.

I get so angry at myself for letting people walk all over me and I dont do nothing about it. I tell myself everyday that I will never let anyone else walk over me and get away with it anymore, for an example I have this friend and she love to call on me when she need help with her problems. When im done helping her with that problem its like I dont hear from her anymore, then I try to txt, call, and /or tweet her she still dont reply to any of them so I always talk to God and my mom about how im not going to let her walk on me anymore and im not going to txt her when she do txt me or answer her call when she do call. I would say to them I was done, but as soon as I see shes txtin me or callin me I will always answer and then tell myself that she was doing something at the time and now shes not so tied up. But deep down I kno that she would be with her boyfriend and that she didnt want to talk to me or be around me untill she needed my help with her problems or want to come over to waste time to go get him from work. So I cant be mad at no one but myself. But I can get mad at the fact that when I got to someone to talk to them about it I dont need them to yell at me about it cause that will only make me shut them out completely. I just need you to talk to me about wat I should do. Im so bored in my life that its crazy! I respond back cause I want my friend back, I respond back cause when no one else want to hang I have that person to hang with. Not that im using them I really want to hang with them and I just get happy that I was on there mind to hangout. Thats how I see it . I dont have anyone to talk too and its really bugging me like crazy!! I cant exspess myself to people anymore and thats frustsrating! I would love to call onpon people and just tell them what im going thou for that day or just to talk too and hang out or something. IDK im just super frustsrated... But the good thing is im not alone really cause I have God to help me out. It would just be nice to have just one friend that want push me to the side then dust me off when they want to play with me again thats all im saying I guess.